i Ain't Got No Socks

i ain't wearin' socks right now
my bare feet in my shoes makes me
think of summer. it don't just make me
think of summer, it makes me long for
summer. it's only two weeks passed away
but i already want it, always what i
don't got. i always want what i don't got.
but wanting summer is deeper, it is like
a sickness inside me. fall is wonderful
don't get me wrong, i have wanted it ever
since it ended last year. there's a pain
in my head. my right eye hurts like sin.
i think of the switchblades of summer,
soon to be traded for snow shovels. i
guess my words will be changin' too.
how i tell people about things, it ain't
never normal. sometimes i think bad things
about people, i don't mean to, i just do.
i don't mean the things i do, i do little
little things all the time that are bad.
don't worry though, i can't get to you,
you hide yourself away. you run and hide
like i do, i wonder if i did that to you.
i wonder if i broke you, if being broken
on the wheels of living is what i have done
to you, like i have done to myself. i don't
like the Fall right now. it makes me scared,
makes my legs shake, causes me to sleep a lot
to keep my hands at bay. The Fall is bad
medicine to me right now, and the only good
medicine is summer, it is illegal, it won't
come around to me. i am scared of my doctor,
he doesn't like me, doesn't think the fears
i have are real. i would love to and not to
show him, one day, just for one, but no one
should have the leg shakes and the right
eye that hurts like sin. gone all summer,
those dangers in the back of my throat, me not
speaking, me not living, not tellin' the
truth. It makes me ashamed and scared for you,
i don't think you should be afraid, i would
cut my own hands and feet off before it
happens bad, but keep a warry eye and know
when to hand me the saw. oh, it hurts, i
don't know what is worse my mind or my
body. it's all a little more quiet now.

i ain't got no socks on right now, it makes
me think of summer. God i want summer so bad
please give me another summer.