I Will Wait For You Too

At night I think of all I've done,
the hearts I've broke,
the ones I've killed out on the plains.
I wonder if they wait at the gates with their
arms open wide, made alive by bullets
that i used to hide.

I'm haunted by the howls and the voices
of the blood on the plow, Cain killed Abel,
but he's got nothing on me now.

The dark floods my bedroom like their
screams and their blood, it fills the whole world -
wide, large, and big as death can be, until
it fades to become only a memory as frightening
as the thing itself - and maybe worse.
The rifle I fired used a smoke that clears,
my mind clears not.

Their eyes hang in my head as though their heaven
can't be real until I come to be with them,
they can't get in until their last breaths are gone -
until the smoke of them clears from my memories.

They reach and they stretch their fingers to me and the sky.
They pant and they die at my feet with sadness;
there is no more home for them except the blessedness beyond.
I have stolen them from their loves, their friends, and brothers.
I am the killer, the sickness, the dementia, the plague, the hate.

In my bed I can not sleep,
I am torn from my peace
and know I have not won the war.
I have done the evil to my brothers
and they wait for me. They know me,
they know what i need, they know the
only cure for the sickness of the heart that I have.
A bullet for freedom, a death for a cure.
Sometimes the darkness just takes hold of me,
who knows when the sunrise will be?

When In Times Of Only Candle Light

It was a perfect storm.
The sun had set so even though
I had seen the earlier clouds there
was no way of measuring the coming rain.

I waited on my roof top for as long as possible,
under a torrent of heart and sky,
the clouds rolling like black fire
with lighting the veins in my eyes.

Back into my bedroom through the
old white window, I lit three candles.
There would be nothing tonight
except the elements. Wax and fire.

The rain began to sound the beauty,
its' fragrance lifting the night
through the still open window,
even now I can still taste the goodness on my lips.

The thunderstorm moved itself
over my skin as Spring's passion,
she kissed without reserve
or care for where I had been.

Raindrops cry from heaven's lovers
weeping their remembrances
when in times of only candle light
they gave themselves over to Love's first desire.

The Day I Threw the Ring Away

My American dream is a selfish one.
A broken heart for a broken son,
a ghost in my past
tells me that I can't leave you.

Angel arms can't hold me now.
I'm a fading fire, the sacred cow,
held above your head
you would love me then leave me to die.

All I ever wanted was to look into your eyes.
Wind and skin, there is no disguise,
I walk too fast
and then I pay the sudden price.

Dirt and fog, dust and blood,
lightning, fear, pain and mud.
If there was ever love
now is the time to make it real.

I Own Him!

Down deep in the cellar I keep the body.

White without sunlight, dirty, unwashed, cold.
Grit crushed in between his teeth, barely kept alive.
His finger nails worn short, torn and broken from
clawing at the door.

I have kept him down there long enough he is forgetting how to talk.
I don't even know if he could make it up here on his own.

Call it what you will. Gross. Perverse. He's Mine.
My experiment in humanity.
What happens to a soul trapped under life.

I hear him at night, scuttling about, shrieking and moaning.
When the neighbors ask I let them see. Why not?
They see one man chained up in my basement
they know not to ask too many questions.

I love him, my man downstairs.
I don't expect many to understand what it takes
to hold and control, to protect.

Maybe it isn't love. Obsession, attachment?
I suppose it doesn't matter exactly what it is.
The body knows with out me it will die.

I own him. I Own him. I Own Him!